Sunday, 30 December 2012

I am afraid for a few things to change.

From beginning of my life….a few things I have actually faced problem in coping up. Small, very small, extremely petty and unnoticeable things..things that are simply so tiny that they usually go ignored or unnoticed by people..rather, these things simply don’t exist for a few intelligent brains in these universe..but these things have always posed me serious threat…presenting their venom, intensity, and more importantly their force on me. I still cant forget my 6th standard when I  first changed my school. 6th standard was the 2nd most difficult stage of my school life. I still cant forget how I felt my world upside down. The previous school I had had was comparatively a small school..low in infrastructure..less exposure..less strength..and more importantly more comfortable. I still remember it was my 7th beginning when I had no desk partner..and my class teacher asked me: “isha! Full one year passed..haven't you made any friends yet?”
It took time..but things became better..and by the end of 7th..i was one with an appreciable quantity and quality of friends. And yeah, the studies which were very much unmanageable for me in 6th…became a child's play for me in 7th...when I brought myself up among class toppers..
Things appear difficult initially, but with passage of time..and with grace of god..and yeah, hard work ..things do happen...happen in a better and beautiful way!
And then when my batches were diluted in 9th according to our choice of subjects, my friends got into other sections. I always thought that things wont change, but they did. My friends changed, their interests..their way of thinking...
Not only this..with the passage of time, I realised that this is an eternal thing. Yes. We think of things being changing and conclude that nothing lasts forever. What lasts forever are changes. Changes will happen. In situations, in ideology, in society, in culture, in technology, in people, In clothes. Not only these. I have seen relationships changing. I have even seen my family members changing. 
I have seen myself change. I cant forget the time when in childhood, whenever I had to attend a wedding party, or a birthday party, or any other family function…I started counting days on my fingers. But now, these things rather make me feel "feverish". You are all brought up from college, or may be a best friend’s home, or may be absorbed reading a book, or sweated in your track suit after that hour of brisk walk.. all tired up..or may be engrossed in a daily newspaper...and suddenly you mum calls you up and asks you to brush up for some thing like this.. shit! See. Even I have changed. CHANGES ARE ETERNAL. THEY HAD BEEN, THEY ARE AND THEY WILL. THE ONLY PERMANENT THING IN THIS UNIVERSE IS "TEMPORARINESS OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY".
But, I will like to tell you why I picked up my pen today and decided to write about this. 2-3 days before, I met a school friend of mine..same classmate..i befriended in 6th. And today, I am in btech 2nd year. It was a planned meeting, we had lots and lots of fun. But, one can have fun with anybody. To have fun, two people need not to be old friends, or true friends, or people of same age group, or two compatible brains, or two alone!!. They must just be fun..that's it!
But what is more important..are the things that I observed in the due course of time.
Her asking me same question she had been asking me..since 6th. Her same goals. Her same talks. Everything is just the same. With her it feels..look! I have not grown up..i feel that time has stopped. She notices a certain expression of mine and remarks that I haven’t changed..she says that i till now gives that expression of rolling eyes… ha!
And ask her to stop spraying makes me allergic..deja vu! Its like being in  a situation you have had already been. I like people to be the way they were, they are and they will. But, I feel..afraid! scared! Things change . and so one day, this will .
May be she gets a boyfriend..may be  I get one. May be she gets a job some day..may be I get one. May be I become too arrogant If I get money in my own hard earned money..or may be she becomes same if she wins a modelling contact. You never know! Temporary things are always pretty or may be the fear of losing them makes them that much worthy. 

Sunday, 23 December 2012


Dreams! We dream of a few things to happen..small eyes..big dreams..we dream of a stage where we will be when our dreams will be fulfilled. And so we imagine… we think hard and hard. Sometimes, while dreaming, we reach somewhere we have never have been. We talk to a person we never had. We speak on a note we had never listened. We are just somewhere else. Dreams are okay..but, imagination is just so immense..we talk of magic..we talk of fairy tales..we talk of wonders.. is it not wonder in itself? We take ourselves to a place we never had been. We feel what we never had.. I look myself in mirror. Small eyes.  deeper are the wishes. How could two little eyes see so much? Dreams are a magic in themselves… they give you so much power, hopes, essence..they give meaning to your life. The flame ..the enlightning flame of life..flickers..but, never goes off… desires, wishes.. dreams!
how disillusioned one can get! Sometimes. These unfulfilled wishes..kill us. You may want something ..but, its  a dream distant apart.  . . its just so far away. Like see.
Stars are visible. They are pretty..oh..wonderful !    but, you just cannot reach them.
Dreams are like that indispensable useless  creatures we always encounter in our life!
keep smiling peepz!

Sunday, 18 November 2012

writing : divine ?

i sometimes feel "writing" is a divine process of meeting yourself up. you start something to write about something, but..your fingers go on selecting letters, creating words and then sentences ..and then a thought..a story which you never intended to write or share with others or not even with yourself. you in a way, end up writing what you had always been thinking but reluctant from accepting or recalling. something you dint being said to you by your own self composed writings. yes! you are actually meeting a self of yours. isn't that magical? or divine i should say?

Thursday, 18 October 2012

scientific theory could sometimes make you philosophical! ouch!

“Life is a beautiful gift of god”. But, only those people could agree to this statement who have exactly that perception of beauty which matches with mine or at least finds a few of many things common with me. Whatever, being beautiful, adorable and magnificent, as life is, does not mean that this is only bright and radiant. It could sometimes be dark and depressing. By latter, I simply refer to day to day affairs that makes us upset or curse a few elements of life. This may include financial, professional, social or may be personal affairs. And when I say brightness, radiance, joy..this should be a grand success, an expected or unexpected promotion in office, birth of a young one, raise in income, a new iphone or may be festive days (days of celebration), and so on. Right!
No! big no! this is exactly where we go wrong or fail to realise life.

Take up this. COPENHAGEN INTERPRETATION. “according to this theory, all matter..even the tiniest of electron and other atomic particles come  into existence only when they are viewed or observed. This theory says that everything..and anything..chair you are seating you are holding on..walls surrounding you..everything will collapse once you, “YOU”, as an individual stop observing it. ”
that means,  our existence should also be absurd without our observing us our self. In other words, the moment we stop observing ourselves, we die. And this is INDEED TRUE! We live, grow, develop and perpetuate only because we observe ourselves. But, what does observing actually means?
Standing in front of mirror for long? No. looking and adoring our basic articles that makes our life a truth. Obviously no. then what? What do I mean by observing himself or herself. Believing, believing that you exist and your worlds of existence simply overlap with other’s world of existence.  You are not a part of this world. No. you are not.! You have your own world. So, in order to keep your world established, you will have to keep observing you. Cherish your strengths, appreciate your uniqueness, enjoy your mutuality with others and try vanish (or may be ignore your weaknesses). A human without knowledge of his/her personality should be the most ignorant person in  this system.  Now Coming back to where we started;  I ended my first para saying “we fail to realise life” .  by realisation, I am simply using a more comprehensible word for “observing”.

So, start! Start observing life. You will become acknowledged to those things from which you were completely ignorant. For example, you never cherished the fact that you have have a family. You never celebrate the fact that you have a sound health. How  many times have you thanked god for being a social animal and not left to perish in gulf of hell like existence. You don’t celebrate these things because these things were with you inbuilt or from birth. That is, you haven't owned them. And, so, YOU TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED. Stop being ignorant and oblivious. Give time to your family, your friends, your well-wishers; if not, give time to yourself. Talk to yourself, realise yourself and try enjoying the solitude. Do those things that you really love doing..those things that actually teach you joy, ecstasy and happiness. At speed, even matter loses its real form or existence. And we are after all, humans. Humans: bright energy bound in dark matter. So, don’t you think speed could harm or distort us to directions and forms unknown and never thought. When you know a few of your assets and belongings, which you haven't owned…but start working hard to continue being with them. In that way, your perspective of brightness, radiance and happiness becomes somewhat like this: “ you find happiness in morning walks, you find beauty in dew drop on flowers, you feel the freshness  of morning and solace of the darkness of nights. For a true perception of beauty, only butterflies are not beautiful. Even a buzzing bee sings music. Talking with people, they appreciating your childness ; and you living colours of this world. All is happiness. “Happiness is like sunshine poured every morning by almighty in abundance, the only thing is that you cannot collect it in a bucket. Simply a sunbath could prevent you from cold and prepare you from coming chills of night.”
Thank you.  

Friday, 12 October 2012

a tree-odd-one-out : a tree of happiness

" to define impossible, you say as-possible-as-touching stars and moon on a full moon day and collecting its moonlight in a bucket." but, one day you realise that sciences has done this. this actually happens! how would you react? you may feel questioning your mortality then or may be your mere presence. "

anyways, none of the above is going to happen. but, the aforesaid statement was just an attempt to bring out the gravity of following:
"its amazing to realise how a few things happen so easily and smoothly in our life. those things that were once believed to be most difficult and tough things simply fall on you at one go and you find yourself wrapped in that cosy, comfortable and soft sheath of happiness. "
a big failure on your professional front, your deteriorating social profile, an argument with a dear friend, a break-up with a near one, or may be missing of a sale advertisement and knowing after it finished (for shopaholics like me)..could all be big-small-very small...reasons of drops in your moods level. but, if a few things could drop your moods by great levels, there are a few things that could heighten up your mood levels by equivalent amount. hey! its just mathematics. a number produces same absolute value with both positive and negative signs, that is a few-petty-unnoticed things could put in ecstasy-joy-pleasure and happiness so abruptly and instantly.
coming to the main thing from where i had to start all this, i shall begin with the incident that actually made me start with this post. it was yesterday only, i was walking on a road from somewhere to somewhere (places i don't actually want to mention for this will be too specific)...and yeah..i was low in mood. again! i wont lie to my reasons and confess, that it was again a small reason to be low. for your sake of simplicity, you can read it to be a headache or...may be after-effects of a boring lecture..or may be unavailability of vacancy in your college basketball team..whatever suits your set of perception. and yeah...may be a 17/20 for all ...sets of nerds.. ! whatever, my face had no smile, no charm and my pace was low. suddenly, i moved my head above and noticed a big-huge-green tree with white flowers covered all over it. i think it must be because of some seasonal change. i have walked through that road hundreds of time; i do it daily; in fact twice a day. but, trust me, i have never noticed that tree there before. in a land of green, ranging from pale yellow-light green-dark green trees..widespread from my left-to-right, there was one tree with beautiful white coloured was a wide canopy..all in white...they big and large bunches of small flowers. each flower in itself was a tiny and petite creature with four countable petals. and hundreds of those tiny flowers formed a bunch. it was same ..the way..grapes are bored up onto one stem..and such bunches were in millions-billions-and trillions. the crowding between flowers gave only square microns of space to exhibit green coloured leaves and brown coloured stems and bushes. the sun pouring from above my head, that was, making me nauseatic a few minutes ago, suddenly seemed getting melted in its own heat. my mood levels raised up to a heights never seen before. and i was walking fast, jolly, singing songs and dancing on an unheard flute. and it all just happened in a fraction of second. it is said that our persistence of vision is approx one twenty-fifth of a second.
ha! imagine! how come such a small time interval bring such a great rush onto our body. i felt that one moment, time stopped. or! time merely lost its meaning. it simply doesn't exist. or time itself got out of space-time coordinates. its something scientifically happening...or may be i being swallowed up by my love for nature. trust me! i don't want to be taken up as a laughing stock by everybody dint actually halted there. it was just a look to that tree..that tree...odd one out. and my simply took itself to levels undeterred.
i was just an incident. but, the experience took myself to an optimistic note. a few and small things could bring happiness and ecstasy in one twenty-fifth of a second ...don't miss that!

Thursday, 20 September 2012

taking decisions: right or wrong?

life is the name of learning. we fall, cry, wipe our tears and then stand once again to set apart for our destination.
but, the most difficult thing in life sometimes becomes => "taking decisions". just realise how frightful and wretched the situation is. there are two roads. you know one will lead to your happiness (and i don't say success because i merely don't believe in this word. if there exists something, it is HAPPINESS. and  happiness manifests itself in various forms; one being success. ). and, another may take you there where you never wanted to go. and then you have to choose!
both of those roads look exactly the same. JUST THE SAME. but, mind you, they are not. you think hard and hard, and finally you decide. if you take right decision, life is good.
and what if the decision you have taken was wrong ???
caught you! that's where comes up my role. if success is illusion; so is the falsity of WRONG ROAD. if all essence lies in happiness and happiness is a journey, so where does this wrong road exists?
start this thing from today. the moment you realise your fore taken decision to be wrong, start enjoying the journey. and then, you achieve success. because, you are achieving happiness and happiness is success.
 PS: there exists nothing like wrong decision. what you took was always correct. "if every thing is destined by god, how could anything divine be anyhow wrong? "

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

what is happiness?

as you travel on the path of your journey, pacing fast, travelling, crossing, taking high jumps to reach highness and touch all materialism of this world; you simply forget to give a halt. and then one day, you feel that all happiness and highness you were aspiring for was just an illusion; it simply never existed. dreams are thing you want to happen. they may or may not come true in your life or in this life. their existence may be imaginative but meaningful. but, illusions are false establishments, that are absurd, vague or that simply do not exist. and then one day, when you suddenly realise this, you stop, turn back and get to know that small petty things you left behind nourished your soul. and happiness is not a concept. its a realisation. you experience it...whenever you wish to...and to the extent or intensity  you want to. and sometimes, you simply overlap your waves of happiness with those of others, that simply disturb yours.
no way, stop and jump! falling is rather easier. and try, finding your comfort zone in those small things. note that when you were at heights, these things were far from you.
if earth is round, depth and height should have no meaning. only distant things appear high to you. so, catch those which are near to you. don't let them go.